Loki: They Never Said It'd Be So Bad
by Mrs.Volterra
Summary: A Loki oneshot, post Thor, in which the fallen prince of Asgard spends time with his young daughter, Hela (aka Hel) and briefly encounters Sigyn. Read and review.


**AN: This is a oneshot in which Loki and his young daughter Hela spend some time together, he has an encounter with his wife, Sigyn, and there are feels ;)**

**In my headcanon, I imagine Sigyn is EXTREMELY upset with her husband after he chose to let go of the staff and fall into the abyss. She feels betrayed, obviously, and despite the fact she loves him, she will not speak to Loki for fear of having her heart broken again. So yeah. That's what's going on. I need to go write a big long story so it makes more sense, I guess...**

**Read, REVIEW PLEASE, and of course enjoy! :)**

**Disclaimer: Marvel owns everything (ugh)**

"Father?" A light, timid voice called down the hallway of a small cottage nestled in the woods of Asgard.

Upon hearing the child, a tall, lanky man strode into the room, going immediately to his daughter, who was sitting on her bed covered in green sheets. "Yes, dear Hela?"

Hela Lokidottir had never quite been like the other children. Born of Angrboda, the frost-giant, she was just as monstrous in appearance as her two younger brothers, Jormungard and Fenrir. If you looked to the right side of her face, you would note the dark waves of ebony that fell past her shoulders and curled at the bottom. You would glance upon the pale, flawless skin and perfect eye that was the same emerald as her father's, and the half of a full mouth. It would be agreed that she had inherited every bit of Loki's startling looks- until you realized that the left side was so glaringly opposite.

The cursed left half of poor Hela's face was ghastly and appalling, with the sagging eye in its socket and the drooping lip bending into a frown, and the hollow cheek and burnt-looking flesh. As if she did not only have to look horrid, her left limbs were almost useless, and she walked with a limp. Her father carried her mostly, or she used the crutch fashioned by Balder the Beautiful to hobble from place to place.

Yes, Hela was a far cry from pretty.

"Oh, Father, must I really go to the feast?" Both eyes, deformed as well as attractive, widened pleadingly at Loki, who pursed his lips and furrowed his brow.

"Hela, you know I already promised the All-Father we would attend-"

"Tell him I'm ill! And aren't I anyhow?" She indicated her half-rotted state. "You're the God of Lies."

"I cannot do that, and you know full well. Why do you wish to hide away, my sweet?" The trickster sat upon the bed alongside his daughter, and looked into her gaze searchingly.

Angrboda had refused to have anything to do with her three children. Fenrir and Jormungard had been cast off, left to despair alone, while Hela was sent, by the Council, to her father's care. He knew nothing of how to raise a child, as he had been absent during Narfi and Vali's lives, which had left Sigyn to parent them. He worried incessantly over the young girl whom he was quite fond of, and wished to see no harm come to her.

"Everybody whispers about me when they think I can't hear." She mumbled, and Loki's heart ached for her. "And they say I am ugly and can't play with the other children." Her left hand, with one touch, could a kill a person. She wore a glove, but still, all were wary of her, excluding Loki.

"Why does that matter? What everyone thinks of you doesn't change who you are. When I was younger, people thought I was strange, different, and anti-social, always comparing me to Thor. And I have grown to be important in my own right." He reminded her, bumping his shoulder against hers.

"But I just want to be like everybody else! I don't want to be 'different' or anything else! Why can't I be the pretty girl that all the boys run after and the other girls want to be friends with? Why can't I play alongside the other children and not worry about falling, or killing someone just because I touched them? Why do I have to be singled out?" Hela's words broke into sobs, and she fell into Loki's lap, crying and keening mournfully.

He knew, of course, how it felt. He knew how it felt to be the odd one out, the one to sit alone in his chambers because he never was asked to go on adventures with Thor and the Warriors Three. The one who was mocked for studying diligently and being less capable than Thor with weapons, and was never expected to amount to anything.

"Hela, my darling, I know it is a difficult journey you face, however, the harder journeys are the ones that make you stronger and shape you into the wonderful woman I know you shall become. Part of being brave is facing challenges that seem like small things, like going to a feast with people who may judge you for you are and for what you are not. Courage is the ability to overcome your fears and insecurities. I love you. You are the strongest person I know, and make me proud every day for getting up and facing all these obstacles. You must learn to ignore the whispers, the sideways glances, and the fruitless attempts to put you down. You'll pull through, because you always have."

Hela gathered herself, wiping tears away and sniffling the sadness off. She nodded. "Thank you." She murmured, and began to get ready for the feast.

xxx

As the God of Mischief and his daughter entered the room, the former decorated in his full armor accompanied by his gold helmet, most of the other Asgardians glanced their way and nodded in acknowledgement. Holding her hand, Loki guided young Hela to where they were sitting, to the left of the All-Father. Their chairs were magnificent, as was everything else in the great dining hall. The pair were about to take their places when suddenly a hand clapped the gold and green clad man's back.

"My brother!" Thor exclaimed, a smile lighting his tan face. His beard was recently trimmed.

"Yes, Thor?" Loki asked dryly, wishing only to sit down and cause as little distraction as possible for his poor child, who seemed frightened by the large man who was her uncle.

"And small Hela! It is good to see you both here- I had begun to think you had left Asgard!"

"Thor!" he hissed in anger. "She does not want so much attention. Stop."

The blonde raised his eyebrows. "Fine then." He said in a softer tone. "But come, we must eat!"

"I'd prefer to stay in my spot." The Trickster replied stiffly.

"Oh, of course..." Thor murmured in understanding. "Sigyn is here tonight."

"Sigyn?" Hela piped from below the two tall men.

"Sigyn is just an old friend of mine, dear. We don't speak much anymore." He soothed with his silver tongue; he had not told her of his wife, but she heard the name a few times already.

"Oh."

Meanwhile, Thor was shaking his head at his younger brother. "Perhaps Sif should watch Hela for a bit while we converse, yes?"

Impatiently, Loki sighed and nodded. "Fine." The two moved away as Sif subtly came forward to talk to her enemy's spawn, though she was kind because she felt bad for the child.

"Loki, you must speak to Sigyn eventually! She is deeply upset!"

"Which is exactly why I do not go to see her!"

"You are hurting her." Thor and Sigyn had developed a stronger bond after Loki had fallen into the abyss, which upon his return, he had accused them of bedding with each other. And yet that was not even the reason for their falling-out. It went far beyond that.

"Perhaps I shall say a word or two to her tonight..."

"That is good." They returned to the table and spoke nothing more on the matter.

xxx

While Hela's uncle chattered endlessly to her, at some point Loki decided to get up and walk around a bit. He found himself drifting down the table, where some Asgardians were drinking and eating. He accepted a goblet of wine when a voice smoothly assaulted him.

"Enjoying your drink, I suppose?"

He knew before he turned of course, what he would see. He knew that there would be a face, and what a beautiful face it would be. It would be pale and flawless, with deep, sapphire eyes that seemed to peer into his very soul, and full lips smirking mockingly at him. It would have those rosy cheeks, flaming with passion, and there would be thick waves of hair now a pure white falling down her back. She'd be wearing a dress as pale as her locks, and it would be slightly revealing, but it would display all the luscious curves that she had, and those long, sculpted legs. And he would both hate her and love her for being so beautiful. But mostly he would hate himself, for letting Sigyn, the epitome of perfection, slip through his fingers.

So when he did turn, he was not surprised, only sad, and he responded, a bitter edge to his tone, "I am, thank you very much."

"Perhaps you should offer me one." She did not look into his eyes, only staring at the ground elusively. "I'm thirsty."

"I really doubt you need more alcohol. You always were a lightweight." He joked, slipping. "I'm sorry, I meant-"

"I do not care. It's fine. So your daughter is here tonight." She stated.

"Yes. I had to work very hard to convince her to come..."

"I'm sure you did. The things we do for our children, hm?" Sigyn looked at him now, and the power of her gaze was intense. A torrent of emotions, all painful, came rushing back to Loki and his heart broke at the mention of his two sons they had conceived together.

"I- I should go-"

"You always do." Sigyn whispered, shaking her head and closed her big, blue eyes. A tear leaked out, but she smiled and rubbed a hand across her forehead. "You never can deal with the aftermath of what you do."

"Sigyn, I can't. Not right now, we need to-"

"You need to leave. I can't stand being around you right now so just go away, please."

He didn't say anything, but he left, just like she wanted, and inside he was dying because everything was so bad between them, and he just wanted them to go back to the days when they fell in love; back to the day he'd first met her in the gardens, and he wanted to go back and do everything right. For all the power he had, he couldn't do a thing to make Sigyn love him again.

Loki rushed back to the table, and grasped Hela's hand in his own. Something to hold onto. "We're leaving." He said, in a dead voice. "Come on, darling." Tugging her behind him, they exited and they couldn't get to the cottage fast enough.

And after he tucked in his daughter, he fell onto his bed, and proceeded to fall apart. He cried, as Hela had, for all that was wrong, and unfair, and imperfect. And when the half-rotted child herself came to his room to comfort him, he accepted it.

"I love you." He heard his little girl whisper, and he cried harder still.

**AN: How was it? Let me know! I hope you liked it(;**

**Check out my profile for a few more Avengers or Loki fics. I need to go work on rewriting Loki and Sigyn's relationship origin story, but I keep putting it off :/ I'm such a procrastinator!**

**Until later, my lovelies! xxx**


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